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Lessons Learned Lately

 
 
 
1. One should not wear new Christmas underwear to work. One might find out too late that new Christmas underwear is really not underwear at all. It’s a permanent wedgie. One might spend her seven hour shift battling the wedgie situation and because one is scurrying hither and yon on the whims of customers, one might be sore pressed to find private wedgie battling places. 

Finally, in desperation, one might pause under the Supreme display in the back corner to have words with the Christmas underwear thinking herself properly hidden from others. One might look up afterwards to find an elderly lady teetering on her walker and laughing so hard she is perilously close to falling. The decrepit lady’s daughter might happen along just then and ask her mother what’s so funny. Decrepit-laughing-teetering lady might say “Nothing dear, the JCPenney girl was just talking to her underwear,” in a voice so clear it echoes through One’s ears as she flees the scene of the wedgie battle. One might not care for decrepit-laughing-teetering lady much at all after that.
 
2. One should make certain not to forget lunch while offering décor advice. One might advise one customer to put the chocolate and crème sheers together because they look ‘yummy’  that way and another to make certain she adds some crème valances to her green and red panels so the room will be ‘delicious’. One might realize while ringing up the ’salad room’ that she really ought to keep her mouth shut when hungry.
 
3. One should most definitely continue to smile and even apologize when customers blame one for the store’s lack of stock, sale availability and their own mistakes. One might find at the end of her third day on the floor, she has managed to sell 2,700 dollars worth of drapery in a seven hour shift to those same grumpy customers despite their issues and One might be very happy about that!
 
Now, One would most definitely like to hear what others have learned lately. Shame LOVES company. Specially my-er.... One’s shame.

Comments

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LOL! Misbehavin panties.....I love that!

And yes, I do get a commission added to my base hourly rate. Thank the gods!!!!!!!
I want to shop at the JC Penny this ONE works at. Sounds like it would be quite entertaining! :D
One would love to have you I'm sure;-)
Laughing with you, not at you!

(You're laughing, right? Heeee!)
Long as we're laughing and not choking or anything.....heeeeeeee!

I've vowed to catch decrepit-teatering-laughing lady when she's lecturing HER underwear someday. We all do it, I know that. It's just a matter of when....

:::giggles wickedly and feels a little insane...giggles anyway:::
Lernt this morning:

One should never wear a black turtleneck sweater while using bleach to clean the bathroom, mainly because one is never as fastidious with keeping said bleach from clothing as one thinks she is.

Of course, one also learned that black felt-tip markers make black-shirt bleach stains go the way of the dodo. So, today's showdown was a satisfactory draw. :)
LOL, I LOVE it!

I used one of those black felt tips on my boots today and it worked wonders. Way cheapter and faster than polish is all I'm sayin.....
And as for Christmas panties of D00m, may I *chortle* just offer my sincerest *snicker* hopes that...that.... *snerk*
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

((I'm sorry, but even rereading it is making me giggle insanely))

♥ ♥ ♥ you!!
LOL....and now I'm giggling for NO reason too. I blame you......

Love you back girl!!!!
((((wedgie empathy)))

Am chortling here... and thrilled about the prospective size of those commissions said wedgie-lecturer is going to be getting!
Yea, me too!

((hugs the chortling mamasue))
The salad room - hah! :D Was your tummy growling??

And yeah... I've had a few disagreements with creeping panties too. If I see the teetering decrepit old laughing woman, I shall make a face at her. :P
Thank you SO much!

::giggles::

It's much funnier now than it was then I assure you.

OMG you just gave me an idea for next year. We should SO do the 12 days of christmas for mom/writers. It would be hilarous I know it!!!
What makes the underwear specifically Christmas underwear - the pattern?

Have a lovely day! :-)
LOL....these were christmas gifts from my daughter and hubby so that's why I called em my Christmas underwear. Now, I call em wannabe wedgies.
good advice, particularly #1. For me, it's always 'never wear new shoes for a long time the first time that you wear them'

You are SO right about that one! I keep having to re-learn it though...wonder what that means. LOL!
I want to know exactly what you were telling your undies.

"I know you are made of silky goodness, but stay out of my crack please!"
And here I thought it was only us guys adjusting our underwear all the time. Hahahaha! Girlie underwear is complicated. A lot of it looks painful! I mean, I appreciate black lace & fishnets etc. etc. etc., but I don't want One to be itchy all day, yecch!

Err, helpful advice? I always pretend I'm tucking in my shirt, when adjusting underwear. Not sure if this would work for ladies.
LOL....thanks CC;-)
You are hilarious.

Have you ever thought about writing some chick lit? (a la Sophie Kinsella) I think you'd be very good at it. :)
Well thank you girl!

I don't read chic lit, so I don't know if I'd be able to write it, but your words have given me hope and someday I shall try:-)
Yay! for selling $2,700 worth of goodies!!!
and damn about the cute Victoria's Secret panties being the creepy type....

I have learned that it's a big mistake to go to writing group, then go home and fall asleep listening to a meditation for getting good ideas because then not only will one get great ideas in one's dreams, but one will also get some seriously funky dreams too!
LOL...I don't care much for those writer dreams either girl. They really mess with my head!
oh, I love it!
I have learned that when one HAS that wedgie and is wearing a thin pair of pants, one's 12 year old daughter will ask "Mom, are you wearing a thong???"

Yikes!
NO!!!!!! This causes one instantly to change panties....
LOL!

I HATE these thin pants we have to wear at work and I'm so going to just wear NO underwear if I must because I cannot imagine suffering through 7 hours of non-stop walking in a thong. I would DIE!
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